In A Million Skies, Abigail shares her journey to gain a true vision about the mental illness that radically altered her life: bipolar disorder. After facing several near-death experiences and a tumultuous fallout from her initial diagnosis, she was left with little of the life she had known. In time, Abigail has found victory in her mind, but that has meant that she has had to shift her views of herself, others, life, and God.
More than one woman’s story, A Million Skies is an invitation to understand mental illness in new ways. The reader who enters the pages of A Million Skies will find the author’s contagious courage, inspiring journey, and words of challenge compelling them forward.
Abigail Alleman possesses ample experience cultivating spiritual formation in herself and others thanks to her twenty-five years as a spiritual mentor. She knows the world of mental illness intimately. Through her prolonged struggle with bipolar disorder, Abigail deeply understands what she speaks. Abigail’s journey toward hope informs how she approaches every aspect of her life, especially as a wife, mother, and writer. She authors her own blog, Abigail Alleman (abigailalleman.com), and hosts the Messy Life Mighty Love podcast. Follow her on Instagram @abigail.alleman.
“In telling the story of her harrowing journey through bipolar disorder without sugar-coating the darkest, grittiest chapters, Abigail Alleman gives permission to all who have been silenced by shame and fear to name and claim our own chapters of brokenness, trauma, and loss. Few writers bring the kind of courage, honesty, and vulnerability to the page that Alleman generously offers us in every paragraph. In a culture that continues to stigmatize mental illness, she has overcome her own fear, shame, and doubt, persevering to give hope and encouragement to others who are floundering in darkness. I am profoundly grateful to Alleman for her bravery, for her authenticity, and, above all, for so selflessly giving us the gift of herself and her unvarnished story in A Million Skies. In doing so, she has gifted us with a powerful testimony of God’s truth, hope, goodness, and love.”
—Michelle DeRusha, author of True You: Letting Go of Your False Self to Uncover the Person God Created
“I don’t think this book was meant to be read in one sitting, but that’s how it happened for me. I was blown away. This story of one woman’s triumphant victory simply wouldn’t let me go. Maybe we all need to know that victory is possible, no matter what we are facing. Maybe we all need to know that the voices whispering defeat in our ears can’t drown out the voice of truth that we were made to hear. A Million Skies is more than a book. It’s a victory march that will point you to the healing you’ve always hoped was possible.”
—Jennifer Dukes Lee, author of Growing Slow and It’s All Under Control
“Beautifully written and emotionally raw, A Million Skies invites readers to connect intimately with oneself, God, and others on their mental health journeys. In honest moments of living with the mania and depression of bipolar disorder as well as the terrors of mental wards and schizophrenic auditory hallucinations, Abigail Alleman allows us to witness her move out of fear, shame, and isolation into a life of courage, hope, and deep connection to Jesus. Readers will find Alleman a trusted companion and guide if they live with bipolar disorder or if they desire to better understand anyone living with this diagnosis.”
—Heather Holleman, PhD, speaker and author of Seated with Christ: Living Freely in a Culture of Comparison and Guarded by Christ: Knowing the God Who Rescues and Keeps Us (Moody Publishers)
“In A Million Skies, Abigail Alleman gently takes us by the hand and leads us through a story familiar to any who’ve walked through a life-altering hardship. Abigail’s beautifully written story brings peace to the heart, hope to the soul, and silences shame surrounding the ways we all struggle.”
—Heather Creekmore, Podcast Host and author of The Burden of Better and Compared to Who?
“A Million Skies is an amazing example of how the gospel removes the masks we hide behind. God’s faithfulness is put on display as Abigail Alleman moves gracefully and powerfully through her story of mental illness, giving hope to all those who’ve struggled, and understanding for all those who haven’t. Alleman takes us on a thrilling journey that is unforgettable and deeply relatable as she shows the complexity of living with bipolar disorder while being focused on living for the glory of God.”
—Jon Adams, Discipleship Pastor at Orlando Baptist Church
“In A Million Skies, Abigail Alleman does a fantastic job of being transparent, as we all should, so that those suffering don’t have to suffer alone. Her words are beautiful brushstrokes of insight, hope, and truth. In this book are pathways out of the darkness and into the light.”
—Dr. Rex A. Birkmire, MD and Psychiatrist
“A Million Skies artfully highlights the ways that beauty and brokenness coexist in our story. Abigail Alleman shows us that ‘we’re more than the bleak skies of our low points,’ but God is also with us in those dark moments. This is a helpful book to normalize conversations around mental health, especially in the church.”
—Michelle Ami Reyes, Vice President, Asian American Christian Collaborative; author, Becoming All Things: How Small Changes Lead to Lasting Connections Across Cultures
“Anyone who has walked the dark valley after having been diagnosed with a mental health issue knows the pain, shame, stigma, and deep longing that often ensues. They long to know, ‘Is there hope for me?’ Abigail Alleman shares openly and vulnerably of her journey through the wilderness of bipolar disorder to offer others hope. That experience was her conduit through which she came to know her own need and know God in a deeper and more personal way. She reminds the reader that despite the label of their struggle (bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, single, divorced, etc.), they are still created in God’s image, beautiful and whole.”
—Dr. Michelle L. Bengtson, award-winning author of Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression and Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises
“Mental illness, anguish, grief, loss, shame. If this is your reality, even just a hint of your life, this book will be a gift to you! Abigail Alleman takes us into the depths of her journey in darkness, the unveiling of her idols, the destruction of her dreams. ‘How would I ever become someone more than a woman covered in the questionable fog of an unstable mind?’ she asked. Gratefully she doesn’t leave us there. She artfully, humbly, beautifully leads us to hope and victory.”
—Judy Douglass, author of When You Love a Prodigal, speaker, encourager, Director, Cru Women’s Resources
“Abigail Alleman’s transparency in her journey is something that has been desperately needed, especially in the Evangelical community. In this ‘instant society’ with instant solutions, we have to recognize that this is a journey that for most of us will include what John called, ‘the dark night of the soul.’ But if we embrace that night fully, as Abigail has shown us, on the other side we have new dimensions of strength, courage, and understanding of the God who loves us with an everlasting love.”
—David Martin, lifelong pastor, counselor, and hospital chaplain
“It’s rare to witness such an offering of love and courage as Abigail delivers in this moving memoir. Her compassion for readers—especially those who have experienced mental illness—is stunning. She encourages them in their faith while prompting them to recognize mental illness for what it is and learn to care for themselves, body, mind, and soul. If the church could hear more searingly honest voices like Abigail's, then millions of Christians suffering in silence might begin to step forward and share their stories with the rest of us, allowing us to know, love, and support them where they are.”
—Carrie Morris, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Wedgewood Circle Artist, and Member of Redbud Writers Guild
“In A Million Skies, Abigail Alleman shares a profound and hauntingly honest look at the pain, shame, and lies of mental illness. Hers is a story of ravaging mental illness and the toll it took on her reputation, family, and ministry. But to stop there would be to miss how God met her in the wilderness. Chapter by chapter, Abigail shows how she moved from despair to hope, from shame to freedom, from suffering to redemption. Abigail bravely and candidly shares her pain, giving others permission to acknowledge theirs, and offers practical and biblical hope to live well with an ongoing mental diagnosis. This book provides authentic, scriptural support for those living with mental illness, for those who love someone with mental illness, and for the body of Christ as we live alongside those with mental illness.”
—Lisa Appelo, author Life Can Be Good Again: Putting Your World Back Together After It All Falls Apart
Dimensions (inches) 5.5 x 8.25
Weight (pounds) .5